Even before the consultation, I had feedbacks from friends that my story should have a morale behind it.
So this was the original story which I shared with him:
3) Tell me why (not yet confirm)
At night, as the boy was about to sleep. He pointed to the window and asked his mum ' How come the moon shape can change into a crescent?' the mum replied 'Don't think about it. Go and sleep' as soon the light is turned off, zooms quickly to the moon showing him exercising to be fit. When he was admiring his crescent figure at the river below, the Milky Way appeared behind him where he was tempted and ate the whole chocolate; making him a full moon (fat) again. The other stars around him see how fat he was, they laughed at him. Being hurt, he went back to exercise again so that the stars would not laugh at his fats.
The story with the morale added:
At night, as the boy was about to sleep. He pointed to the window and asks his mum ' how come the moon shape can change into a crescent?' the mum says 'don't think about it. Go and sleep' as soon the light is turned off, zooms quickly to the moon showing him exercising to be fit. When he was admiring his crescent figure at the river below, he noticed a lost girl crying. She was lost in the woods. Being a kind soul, the moon tried shining his light for the girl to see her way but as he was thinner there wasn't enough light. So the moon actually had a choice to choose. To sacrifice his size in order to help her find her way. So he ate so much that he became round (fat) and with all his might shone the brightest light, and the girl manages to find her way back home.
When I shared with Mr. Ronald both my ideas, he said that the second story was rather confusing and maybe make abit no sense. This I have to agree. Due to the fact that it doesn't depend on the shape of the moon to giving off the amount of light.
As for the first story, he said the idea was interesting but I have to further develop it. He also suggested that he finds my P3 story to have the potential and should develop it. But one thing which I was afraid of would be the originiality.
"Oh man.." was the first thing that came to my mind when Mr. Ronald told me to develop my story further. Though I was happy that the fact that he mentioned the idea was interesting but now I am having a headache just developing it to make it as a whole package.
I also showed him some sketches of my moon:
Now, squeezing my brain juice to develop my story further.
Cheers,
Vivien
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